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Just for a laugh
date posted 25th August 2000 12:40
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IF ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE WEB PROGRAMMERS
Dear Mr. Architect:=20
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, =
so you should use your discretion.
My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. =
Just make sure the plans are such
that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the =
blueprints to me, I will make the final
decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each =
configuration so that I can arbitrarily
pick one.=20
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the =
one I am currently living in. Make
sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my =
current house (the floor of my kitchen
vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough =
insulation in them).=20
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance =
costs as low as possible. This
should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, =
vinyl, or composite siding. (If you
choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in =
detail.)=20
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials =
are used in construction of the
house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and =
methods. Be alerted, however, that
kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 =
Gibson refrigerator.=20
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire =
family, make certain that you contact each of
our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very =
strong feelings about how the house
should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure =
that you weigh all of these options
carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right =
to overrule any choices that you make.=20
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to =
develop the overall plans for the house:
get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate =
to be choosing the color of the carpet.
However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.=20
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build =
the house itself. Your first priority is to
develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, =
however, I would expect the house to
be under roof within 48 hours.=20
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind =
that sooner or later I will have to sell it
to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of =
potential buyers. Please make sure
before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the =
population in my area that they like the
features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my =
neighbor's house he constructed last year.
We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like =
in our new home, particularly the 75-foot
swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design =
this into our new house without
impacting the final cost.=20
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at =
this time to do the real design, since they
will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you =
will be held accountable for any
increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.=20
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as =
this! To be able to use the latest
techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs =
is something that can't happen very
often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and =
plans.=20
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the =
instructions I've given you in this letter. As
architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I =
have tried in the past and have been unable
to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will =
have to find another architect.=20
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. =
Please advise me as soon as possible if
this is the case.=20
I thought this hit the nail on the head, especially with the large =
corporate I work for!
Nickki
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Content-Type: text/html;
charset="iso-8859-1"
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IF ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE WEB=20
PROGRAMMERS
Dear Mr. Architect:
Please design and build me a =
house. I am not=20
quite sure of what I need, so you should use your =
discretion. My house=20
should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make =
sure the=20
plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or =
deleted. When=20
you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision =
of what=20
I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that =
I can=20
arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I =
ultimately=20
choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. =
Make sure,=20
however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current =
house=20
(the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and =
the walls=20
don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind =
that I want=20
to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. =
This should mean=20
the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or =
composite=20
siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to =
explain=20
your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern =
design practices=20
and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, =
as I=20
want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be =
alerted,=20
however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among =
other=20
things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building =
the correct=20
house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each =
of our=20
children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong =
feelings=20
about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at =
least=20
once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these =
options carefully=20
and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule =
any=20
choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small =
details=20
right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the =
house: get=20
the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be =
choosing=20
the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife =
likes blue.=20
Also, do not worry at this time =
about=20
acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority =
is=20
to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve =
these=20
plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof =
within 48=20
hours.
While you are designing this =
house=20
specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to =
sell=20
it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide =
variety=20
of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the =
plans=20
that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like=20
the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at =
my=20
neighbor's house he constructed last year. We like it a great =
deal. It=20
has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly =
the=20
75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that =
you can=20
design this into our new house without impacting the final =
cost.=20
Please prepare a complete set of =
blueprints.=20
It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since =
they will=20
be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will =
be held=20
accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result =
of later=20
design changes.
You must be thrilled to be =
working on as an=20
interesting project as this! To be able to use the =
latest techniques=20
and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something =
that=20
can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with =
your=20
complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that =
she=20
disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter.=20
As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these =
differences. I=20
have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. =
If you=20
can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect. =
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a =
house at=20
all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible =
if this=20
is the case.
I thought this hit the nail on the =
head, especially=20
with the large corporate I work for!
Nickki
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