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RE: FN-FORUM Just for a laugh
date posted 29th August 2000 19:50
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my pleasure!
Andrew
-------------------------
ANDREW WILSON PRODUCTIONS
South Lanarkshire, Scotland
tel: 01899 220 300 mobile: 077 85 248 554
visit our website at www.awp.co.uk
-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL REMOVED]
[EMAIL REMOVED] Behalf Of g.steptoe
Sent: 25 August 2000 12:32
To: [EMAIL REMOVED]
Subject: FN-FORUM Just for a laugh
IF ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE WEB PROGRAMMERS
Dear Mr. Architect:
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need,
so you should use your discretion.
My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just
make sure the plans are such
that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the
blueprints to me, I will make the final
decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each
configuration so that I can arbitrarily
pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the
one I am currently living in. Make
sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my
current house (the floor of my kitchen
vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough
insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance
costs as low as possible. This
should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum,
vinyl, or composite siding. (If you
choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in
detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials
are used in construction of the
house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and
methods. Be alerted, however, that
kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952
Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family,
make certain that you contact each of
our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very
strong feelings about how the house
should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure
that you weigh all of these options
carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to
overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to
develop the overall plans for the house:
get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to
be choosing the color of the carpet.
However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build
the house itself. Your first priority is to
develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans,
however, I would expect the house to
be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that
sooner or later I will have to sell it
to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of
potential buyers. Please make sure
before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population
in my area that they like the
features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's
house he constructed last year.
We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in
our new home, particularly the 75-foot
swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design
this into our new house without
impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this
time to do the real design, since they
will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you
will be held accountable for any
increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this!
To be able to use the latest
techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is
something that can't happen very
often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the
instructions I've given you in this letter. As
architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have
tried in the past and have been unable
to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have
to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer.
Please advise me as soon as possible if
this is the case.
I thought this hit the nail on the head, especially with the large
corporate I work for!
Nickki
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my=20
pleasure!
Andrew-------------------------ANDREW WILSON=20
PRODUCTIONSSouth Lanarkshire, Scotlandtel: 01899 220 300 =
mobile:=20
077 85 248 554visit our website at www.awp.co.uk
-----Original Message-----From:=20
[EMAIL REMOVED]
[EMAIL REMOVED] Behalf Of=20
g.steptoeSent: 25 August 2000 12:32To:=20
[EMAIL REMOVED] FN-FORUM Just for a=20
laugh
IF ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE WEB=20
PROGRAMMERS
Dear Mr. Architect: =
Please design and build me a =
house. I am=20
not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your =
discretion. My=20
house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just =
make=20
sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added =
or=20
deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the=20
final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost =
breakdown for=20
each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one. =
Keep in mind that the house I =
ultimately=20
choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in.=20
Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies =
that exist=20
in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I =
walk=20
across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them). =
As you design, also keep in =
mind that I=20
want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. =
This should=20
mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or =
composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be =
prepared=20
to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern =
design=20
practices and the latest materials are used in construction of=20
the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most =
up-to-date=20
ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should =
be=20
designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson =
refrigerator.=20
To insure that you are building =
the correct=20
house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each=20
of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will =
have=20
very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, =
since=20
she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of =
these=20
options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, =
retain=20
the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with =
small details=20
right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the=20
house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is =
not=20
appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, =
keep in=20
mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time =
about=20
acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority =
is=20
to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve =
these=20
plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof =
within 48=20
hours.
While you are designing this =
house=20
specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to =
sell=20
it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide =
variety=20
of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the =
plans=20
that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like=20
the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look =
at my=20
neighbor's house he constructed last year. We like it a great =
deal.=20
It has many features that we would also like in our new home, =
particularly the=20
75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe =
that you=20
can design this into our new house without impacting the =
final cost.=20
Please prepare a complete set =
of=20
blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, =
since=20
they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, =
however,=20
that you will be held accountable for any increase of =
construction=20
costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be =
working on as an=20
interesting project as this! To be able to use the =
latest techniques=20
and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is =
something that=20
can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with =
your=20
complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me =
that she=20
disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. =
As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these =
differences.=20
I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish =
this. If=20
you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another =
architect.=20
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not =
a house at=20
all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible=20
if this is the case.
I thought this hit the nail on the =
head,=20
especially with the large corporate I work for!
Nickki
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