Re: FN-FORUM killer web site

date posted 6th September 2000 09:27

On Tue, 5 Sep 2000 16:23:05 +0100 Norman Beresford [EMAIL REMOVED]
wrote:

(remember the more TLAs you can throw in the better)
TLA is my favourite TLA ;-)

>
> Think about a B2C mobile market that you could penetrate easily - Kebabs!
> Your site is going to offer Kebabs to mobile phone users. They connect to
> your site, the site figures out where they are and directs them to the
> nearest kebab vendor.
Dam thats the idea I have been pitching www.kebabalon.com

> It all sounds too good to be true, how can www.e-kebabXchange.com (look we
> managed to get the letters e and x into the name, another important
> requirement for any successful website) fail to sell for a million by the
> end of the week? Well as I've pointed out B2C is becoming passé as well.
> To make money you've got to go to where the real money is, government.

You could improve that URL by adding i and 2 somewhere in it. try
i-kebab2e-Xchange.com that one is sure to be available and a gold mine
>
> Yes, www.e-kebabXchange.com is proud to announce the creation of it's C2G
> (citizen to government) department. A lot of kebab eaters wake up the next
> morning passing grey water (and that's an expression from the Alan Clark
> diaries before people start accusing me of being gross). What's to blame?
> The kebabs of course. By holding their WAP enabled phones next to the bowl
> users of your site can pass on all sorts of data to the government about
> where those dodgy kebabs are coming from. At the same time as they are
> going to be on the toilet for quite sometime they can take part in all sorts
> of online democracy, such as paying their taxes, or or or or.......taking a
> virtual tour around Number Ten!
This is where we are winning www.kebabalon.com has got Mr Mandelson on
side. Therefore we get questions asked in parliment by the only real
meat eater in the cabinet ;-) unfortunatly we where unable to get our
first choice of sponser, Buckingham palace have said that Prince Philip
is not available at any cost.

We have also sponsered pagers in the house of commons and every speech
read from one will also have the tag line 'kebabalon.com its a state of
meat kind' added to the end.

>
> Of course then you get onto the issue of online privacy. Suddenly you
> discover that the government is passing legislation to enable them to track
> users through your initial site, then cross-referencing the information
> against DSS databases to enable them to figure out what unemployed people
> are wasting their dole money on kebabs. They justify this by pointing out
> that they do it already in the states (we all know why Carnivore is called
> Carnivore, who's ever heard of a vegetarian kebab). So you get to be a
> cause celebre, all the major sites pick up on the story and suddenly you're
> /.ed, your logs are looking healthy (server logs, not kebab induced ones)
> and you can sell your site to Microsoft who rebrand it, move the whole thing
> over to NT servers and promptly get hacked.
To stop the kebabalon servers ever getting hacked (or even working) we
are using NT4 with no service packs. The whole site will run on this
one server and even the design was done on it (NT is such a wonderfull
beast for this sort of thing) this gives us one advantage over all
competition, our site works on ie2 ;-)


> btw - if you're looking for someone to do the backend for your site let us
> know ;)
>
We already have kebabalon on line and would be interested in
co-branding deal ;-)
sparkes